The lessons of political brochuresPublished 9:06am Wednesday, October 27, 2010
It’s getting intense out there and Election Day, Nov. 2, can’t come too soon, I think.
Somebody slipped a political brochure under my door while I was asleep last night at Pickett Place. It was a short spelling lesson:
It read: “The last four letters in American… I Can.
The last four letters in Republican… I Can.
The last four letters in Democrats… Rats.
End of lesson.
Remember, November is to be set aside as rodent extermination month.”
Obviously an act of desperation by local Republicans. I tossed it away and went back to carving a pumpkin for the grandchildren’s Halloween visit. Suddenly, the fumes became too much for me and I heard voices.
T’was the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down
Sparks couldn’t get it lit
Green was having a fit
Amazi was about to cry
Ellis wouldn’t lie
Hillier locked himself in his room
Reinartz could spell doom
Lang laid low in Dutch Town.
Not easy would Bennett go down
Stiehm was getting steamed
Clennon acted so serene
Council incumbents didn’t know what to say
Their challengers wouldn’t go away
The “Yes” committee prayed for no levy mistake
Quality education was at stake
Changes to charter don’t matter
When the status quo could shatter.
I, in my boxers
With the remote in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political clap-trap
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out my window
Saw Walz and his boys
Demmer arrived in a combine
They all wanted my last dime
For another commercial, brochure or ad
It all made me feel so sad.
I backed to the window and dropped my Underoos
Gave them an eclipse of the moons they would never forget.
All right, all right …… no more beating around the bush. Here are Swami Bonorden’s election predictions in a few selected races, which have sparked the most interest.
Remember they do not reflect the views of the Austin Daily Herald and I may have forgotten to take my medications today:
Walz over Demmer. Nobody works harder for veterans than the Democrat.
Sparks over Green. Sorry, Kathy. Dan is getting better with every term in office.
Stiehm over Clennon although this could be a close race.
Reinartz over Hillier. The jail and justice center issue raises its ugly head and the 3rd District voters just want a change.
Amazi over Ellis despite the deputy’s hard-fought campaign. Where did he get all that money for radio ads, a billboard and the rest? Many supporters, perhaps, in and out of law enforcement. He must make the sheriff feel nervous. If the deputy wins, the sheriff is out of work. If the sheriff wins, the deputy – by law – keeps his job, but, Oh boy! I just wish reporters had probed deeper into the Waltham incident, where Ellis and his super dog Tazer were accused of over-reacting in the arrest of a hapless soul by the name of Musolf. Remember the lawsuit against Ellis. Remember that the deputy was hung out to defend himself. It’s all part of the public record.
Mower County has a history of interesting county sheriff races: Bartlett vs. Goodnature, Goodnature vs. Simonson, etc.
This one is no exception.